Wicket Wizard Pillows

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Woman knitting a washing line.

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

"When did this game get started?"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Conference Room. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a compliment when the boss said "in every brainstorming session Ernie is a ray of sunshine."

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Psychic car mechanics.

'Always the wise guy.'

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"It's a nice invention, but what about GRIDLOCK?"

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

"I was thinking, maybe karate isn't for me. Tio Ruben was a golden glove boxer. Maybe I can take up boxing! You don't know anything about boxing, do you, Tia Carmen?"

"She can be outspoken."

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

Useless car accessories.

Imran Khan

'Ha! OK Eddie. You owe me 50 bucks!'

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

Flat Foot

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

The 'twice twirl surprise' seamer

I love Pottery.