White Noise Gifts

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Tommy!"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Future garbage truck driver.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

Snowman of the Apes

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

Trawling for Fish.

'Why's the sky so high?' - 'So the birds don't bump their heads.'

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

"Hello, Number 6!"

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

"I prefer snow person."

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

'Global warming? let me know when it kicks in.'

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

Lovely weather again.

Snowman: 'Maybe we should put down a towel first..?'

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'

"If we come across Punxsutawney Phil, you have my permission to gut him."

Beware of the Dog.

"I ran out of vacation days, so I didn't fly south this winter."

"Please make it snow tonight. Karen Garvin wants me to be her valentine."

Snowman on the Other Planet.

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Melting snowman tries to hitch a ride north.

"The ambient nature sounds are making me too sleepy to hunt."

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

'They'll be talking about that for years!'

"Tests show you've contracted a pretty common skin condition called 'Lazy-Rake Syndrome'."

"He's hoping his nose can be used in a cake!"