White Noise Enthusiast Gifts

'I like to listen to white noise to relax.'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

'Why's the sky so high?' - 'So the birds don't bump their heads.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Library Grand Opening

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

It was going to be a subdivision, but they ran out of snow. Chilly Hills Estates.

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Turn down the bass."

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Playing dustbins

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"In this one, I can hear the sound of traffic."

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

'Please. Don't get me started.'

Communication

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

'Your parrot is driving me crazy.'

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"