Noise Aficionados Gifts

Puppet hitting child with noisy phone

Irritating Music

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

My other cello is a Stradivari

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

"Tong!"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Artist and Musician

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

Disease-y Top

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"You know damn well what noise!"

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Library Grand Opening

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

"Romance"

Playing dustbins

"The estranged string trio."

"Turn down the bass."

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Now that's what I call a sound system."