White Elephant Exchange Pillows

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

US dollar rising and falling.

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

Sculptor making a statue to hug.

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

Fluffy's first and last day as an exchange student.

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

Rum Mage Sale Today

'My brother is going to stay with a family in France, and a French boy is coming to stay with us. Did you know your parents could exchange you?'

What Is This Crap?

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

December 26th . . . The Returns

Santa Claus

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

'Nothing, honey, except flare up unexpectedly and cause a lot of trouble. Sort of like your uncle.'

'They saw you coming.'

"I've been diagnosed with duel personalities."

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

'Ere Mabel, know anything about agreeing to a home swop?'

Change and barter machines.

'Cooking utensils - always good for bartering.'

Whatever-U-Got We'll Take It Store.

You know you can't return it. Mother had a GPS microchip sewn into the lining.

'I want to exchange these toys from last year that I never asked for!'

"You know what they say, Ladies. Big cheese sandwich, big p***s."

"Now, follow me. . . You, on the other hand, have tons of hay but need milk. Right? I, on the other hand, have plenty of milk but need hay. . ."