White Collar Workers Gifts

Will dick around on the internet all day for food.

'I can't get used to the white clothes. I was a blue collar worker.'

Computer monitor for a head.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Time Out For Teddy

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

White Collar Crime.

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"White Collar Prison"

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Business Sisyphus

'I'll fix the problem... you fix the blame.'

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

Financial Corruption

"We're talking business ethics not ethics."

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'It's a vicious cycle Walters.'

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'Another stressful day at the office dear?'

As you can see we've had to downsize our workforce.

Fraud Squad

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'I think I'd have an easier time thinking out-of-the-box if I didn't have to spend the entire day in a cubicle.'

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'