White-collar Wisdom Gifts

'The company has got flexible working hours. I've got to be on the spot when they need me, that's why they tie me to a tree near the front door after work.'

Computer monitor for a head.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"White Collar Prison"

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

White Collar Crime.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Business Sisyphus

'I'll fix the problem... you fix the blame.'

Financial Corruption

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

"We're talking business ethics not ethics."

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

"What a great day to be alive and not under indictment."

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

'It's a vicious cycle Walters.'

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'Another stressful day at the office dear?'

Fraud Squad

'I think I'd have an easier time thinking out-of-the-box if I didn't have to spend the entire day in a cubicle.'

'You're too late...I embezzled it.'

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."