Whistle Whiz Gifts

"Do you mind?"

The first car accident.

Modern kite for wind energy.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

The Invention of the Wheel

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'I need both hands for steering.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"I love hearing that lonesome wail of the train whistle as the magnitude of the frequency of the wave changes due to the doppler effect."

The Connoisseur.

First Speeding Fine.

Millipede motorist

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

Johann Strauss

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"Hardscrabble"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'