Whistle Whiz Gifts

"Do you mind?"

The first car accident.

Modern kite for wind energy.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Invention of the Wheel

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'I need both hands for steering.'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

The Connoisseur.

Johann Strauss

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

Millipede motorist

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

First Speeding Fine.

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"I love hearing that lonesome wail of the train whistle as the magnitude of the frequency of the wave changes due to the doppler effect."

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"Hardscrabble"

"I'm going to call it zero."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'