Whimsical Writer Gifts

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Vegetable Soup for the Soul

Fork reading newspaper

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

"So you're an author, what do you write, 'fairy tales'?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Dogs and their thoughts

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

A boy acting suspiciously

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Yes, one is a dog."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"I said slime."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

"Scuba cow"

Selfie Stick