Whimsical Workplace Fan Gifts

'How soon can you start?'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

Sales Secretary

"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

"I'm sorry, but he's having his teeth filed to needle-sharp points. Can I take a message?"

'Keep up the good work, Simmons and we might just take the wheels off.'

'In my day, it was 50% soldiers and 50% workers... Now it is 50% soldiers, 20% managers, 20% admin and only 10% workers...'

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

The boss is world famous for his profound analysis of human nature, but to work here all you need to know one grunt is yes and two is no.

Our Founder portrait looking over boss's shoulder.

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

"It's face painting Friday."

Worker takes Boss out in a wheelbarrow

"Management are fighting over the best way to resolve conflict in the workplace..."

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

"I found out my staff have a nickname for me, I'm not sure it's a good idea!"

"I'm sorry - he's just left the office..."

'Why can't I be top banana? I'm a bigger hypocrite than any of them!'

'Stop blaming yourself...I've already done that for you!'

"Higher wages, lower urinals."

"George, mentoring is about more than getting everyone to be just like you."

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

"Someone's misfiled Harrington."

"And how would you rate your relationship with colleagues?"

Hokey Kokey Association.

"You're not in today. I'm not clear on how you want me to handle that."

"You really need to work on your ideas that i take all the credit for."