Informal Workplace Fan Gifts

"The boss truly has an open door policy."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Sales Secretary

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

"Wait a minute! I don’t ignore the concerns of my employees! I listen to them, I discuss with them... and then I ignore them."

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

"I don't dress for work till I'm actually working."

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

'Keep up the good work, Simmons and we might just take the wheels off.'

'In my day, it was 50% soldiers and 50% workers... Now it is 50% soldiers, 20% managers, 20% admin and only 10% workers...'

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

"Cut a few thousand jobs here, boss, a few thousand jobs there, and they start to add up."

Boss has No Parking sign placed in middle of office.

Worker takes Boss out in a wheelbarrow

'Very impressive resume... new printer?'

Our Founder portrait looking over boss's shoulder.

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

The boss is world famous for his profound analysis of human nature, but to work here all you need to know one grunt is yes and two is no.

"Management are fighting over the best way to resolve conflict in the workplace..."

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

'Why can't I be top banana? I'm a bigger hypocrite than any of them!'

"I'm sorry - he's just left the office..."

"I found out my staff have a nickname for me, I'm not sure it's a good idea!"

'Just when I thought I had weeded out all of the deadwoodl, Weber...I spotted you!'

'Stop blaming yourself...I've already done that for you!'

'We all have to cut back - I'm giving up the pleasure of giving you a bonus.'

"I want to meet with my company. How soon can you make a conference table for 10,000 employees?"