Whimsical Wordplay Fan Gifts

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Punt Cake

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Nuts to you, too."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

AA Meeting Here Today

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

Cat Burglar

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

The Alpha Seltzer

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"You have word-ill."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.