Whimsical Valentine Exchanges Pillows

Oh lovely, a Valentine Card: I wonder who it is from?

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Labrador Non-retriever

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

Man proposes holding a balloon.

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

"Are bringing your new girlfriend to the office party?"

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

"This new guy's really good!"

'For Valentine's Day!'

"Oh Johnny, I like you but not in that way. I'm a platonic solid."

"You ain't gitting on this train until I git off first."

Pregnant

"Will you call me?"

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'

You had me at 'BLLLLUUUURRRPPPP!'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"Of course I'm Cupid...that's an old picture!"

Snowman making a snowwoman

'I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying if you're RIGHT, I'm a Dutch uncle.'

'Nothing, honey, except flare up unexpectedly and cause a lot of trouble. Sort of like your uncle.'

This ain't no cupboard love.

"Will I go on a date with you?... Sure, why don't we make it Saturday, 18th May, 2086?"

'I've got to tell you, your 'Do Not Disturb' sign is unnessary.'

'A penny for your thoughts. Fifty bucks for your panties.'

'May I see your telephone number?'

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

'Colleen? It's Sam. '92? New Year's Eve party? I just found out I'm decaf. You might want to get checked.'

'Americans have gotten so fat, I had to switch my bow and arrows for a harpoon.'