Whimsical Landscapers T-Shirts

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

Industrial Beautification van

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

LawnGrazer 3000; The Solar Powered, Remote Controlled Lawnmower

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

"The cat was there."

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

Topiary: helping nature look her best

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

Escaping Flowers

"After the kids moved out I had the house redesigned to reflect the real me."

Skyscrapers.

The world's first riding lawn mower.

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

Clown watering houseplant.

"Now, that's how you know you're in the garden of bird lovers: They've installed a Spa, not just a bird-bath..."

Never criticise his creative efforts...

Christmas with the Sock Puppets

'Oh no! It's the flying gardener.'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

Football Fan

Cat watering catnip.

Scrawny horse with 'Wet Paint' sign around its neck.

Happy Home - Thumbs Up.

Mouse and garden magazine