Whimsical Landscaper T-Shirts

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

'And this is our geodesic gnome.'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

The Music Seed

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

Industrial Beautification van

The stuff of Legend.

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"Here is your new planet."

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

LawnGrazer 3000; The Solar Powered, Remote Controlled Lawnmower

"The cat was there."

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

Escaping Flowers

Skyscrapers.

"After the kids moved out I had the house redesigned to reflect the real me."

The world's first riding lawn mower.

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

"Now, that's how you know you're in the garden of bird lovers: They've installed a Spa, not just a bird-bath..."

Clown watering houseplant.

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'Oh no! It's the flying gardener.'

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

'A few over here, please.'

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)