Whimsical Families Pillows

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

Baby Hairstyles.

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Your future looks charming.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"Jim was a model Dad".

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

' You're not going on the at risk register just because granny's got big teeth.'

'Daddy says 'meow'.'

Kangaroo with multiple pockets for lots of children...

"I can't right now. I have to pick the kids up then eat them."

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

Empty Nest.

'I'm gonna die.'

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

'... Well, I don't know where your Daddy got that idea. I have plenty of brand new bikes in my workshop.'

'Your trainers really whiff.' - 'Yeah, they're awful, aren't they?!' - 'Do something about !!!' - 'Oh, I see...'

'So; come up with any bright remarks lately?'

"Sorry, kid, but I don't whack parents."

Hare and the tortoise race odds.