Whimsical Families T-Shirts

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

Baby Hairstyles.

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

'Your future looks charming.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"Jim was a model Dad".

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

'Daddy says 'meow'.'

' You're not going on the at risk register just because granny's got big teeth.'

Kangaroo with multiple pockets for lots of children...

"I can't right now. I have to pick the kids up then eat them."

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

Empty Nest.

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

'I'm gonna die.'

'... Well, I don't know where your Daddy got that idea. I have plenty of brand new bikes in my workshop.'

'Your trainers really whiff.' - 'Yeah, they're awful, aren't they?!' - 'Do something about !!!' - 'Oh, I see...'

'So; come up with any bright remarks lately?'

Hare and the tortoise race odds.