Comical Family Dynamics Pillows

'I'm gonna die.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

"Well, if you've got 'nothing to wear' why am I constantly doing laundry?"

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"The wife thinks he's at summer camp."

"I ate something that strongly disagreed with me!"

"I'm not a kid anymore, mom. I can hit myself in the face with a pie by myself."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

"Dad, can you just ground me instead?"

"I'm training him to do chores."

'Sorry, nothing really scares us anymore since that time we accidentally walked in on our parents...'

'Dad, what is a 'LOVE RAT'?'