Whimsical Critic Pillows

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."

"He may be a famous artist, but I find his work too chocolate-boxy."

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Selfie Stick

"I said slime."

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Yes, one is a dog."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Scuba cow"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Fishing for Birds

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

A man rakes a tree