Whimsical Thinker Pillows

"All you really need in life is the love of a good cat."

Cat Kung Fu

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

Whacha Thinking About?

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

"Would you still love me if I was a human?"

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

Scuba diver using beer rather than air.

"Once upon a time, there was a frozen pizza, and inside the pizza some very bad monsters lived. Their names were refined white flour, reconstituted tomato, and processed cheese. But the worst monster of all was called pepperoni!"

Institute for Decisive Thinking (in trays read eenie, meenie, mynie, mo).

The Lawyer Fairy

Homework: Bring Your Kitty To School. 'My dog ate my homework.'

The Humpty Syndrome: 'Hmm...Up until now, I never had the urge to sit on a wall...'

'I see a unicorn.' 'I see Abraham Lincoln.' 'I see a sock.'

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

'I see a castle and a seahorse. What do you see?'

A bunch of human artists are painting a skull which is sitting on a stool, while a nearby tree is painting the stool.

If dogs had pockets.

'The dog ate my homework but it can be presented nonetheless because he's a passable ventriloquist.'

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

'My cow for your magic beans? It's a deal...subject to approval by our attorneys, of course.'

"The HOA is bustin' my chops about my paint colors!"

"Help yourselves to dips."

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

"Did you just hear a cow?"

Day in, day out, dodging traffic, dashing back and forth. And for what? Nuts. My whole life wasted on a bunch of nuts.

"He said eat some grass and call him in the morning."

'due to all the trouble you imaginary friend got you into last year, we transferred him yo another class, this year.'

"I was reading that."

Calcium Deposits.

Musical Sailing Boat.

"They always pass me these collection plates at church, so I started collecting them."

"I'm beginning to question your business decision-making, Perkins."

'Star light, star bright, first star I...' 'No.'