Whimsical Creationist Gifts

God perfects his turkey design.

Paul Klee

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"I said slime."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Spring Training

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Selfie Stick

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Scuba cow"

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Fishing for Birds

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

A man rakes a tree