Whale Lover T-Shirts

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"Don't fillup on plastic, you'll ruin your appetite."

Whale tells family to save themselves.

"I've got a massive headache."

Save the Files on the Cloud.

"At least I died British."

ACME Bullet Proof Vest Co.

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't eat so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much floatsam.'

Whale holding a balloon with the number two

"Ah, the beach. My old nemesis."

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

Narwhals...the lying b****rds of the Arctic.

Sperm Whale.

'I can recommend the mixed Krill.'

The Humpback of Notre Dame.

A not-so-happy Minke Whale has discovered where a piece of his rear end has ended up;in a Japanese restaurant.

In need of protection.

'I don't get it - I can eat a gazillion plankton, and I'm still hungry.'

"Here I blow!"

"How the hell are we supposed to evolve if they keep pushing us back in?!"

Japanese Whaling

"Ugh...Your father is so embarrassing."

Ahab would like to know your current location. Don't allow. Allow.

Gesundheit! (When whale sneezes, smaller fish emerge from its blow hole.)

Aw, looks like someone got his first barnacle! MOM! Whale Puberty.

"Stop oil!!!"

"I know you adopted me, but who were my biological parents?"

"They say your chances of survival are better sitting in the tail section."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

Bite out of fishing pier.

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?