Westerns Gifts

"That there's one bowlegged cowboy."

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

"It's not difficult - you go 'Hi,' then 'Ho,' then the name of your horse."

'After solving the towns equation, the stranger rode off into the setting sun'

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

Cowboy Snowman: 'DRAW!' Two Cowboy Snowmen about to fight it out using their hot air Hairdryers

"We's puttin' together a posse. You in?!"

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"I'm tired of running Martha."

'To Jake's horror, his trigger finger was otherwise occupied when he was called upon to draw'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Zeke, round up a posse and don't forget ethnic and gender diversity.'

Too late, Buck remembered his father's advice: 'Never bring a potato to a gun fight.'

Why you should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Early Identity Theft

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

"O.K., coffee break's over."

Cowboys about to have gunfight are interrupted by bureaucrat: 'Hold on ... Health & Safety.'

'Have you been waiting long?'

"I'd like to report some bad guys."

"Durn it all, Cooky! We's payin' you good money to remember which one is decaf!"

'It's a discouraging word from the IRS.'

"Sheriff, Have you heard that Billy the Kid's coming to town?"

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"Just remember, we switch back before we get to town."

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'That's the last straw, mister.'

"You ain't from around these parts are you, stranger?"

Subject: Following up on whether this town is big enough for the two of us.

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

Clown Cowboy:'DRAW!'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'How's the diet coming?'

'When you say I have 24 hours to get out of town, does that include the grace period?'