Western Wanderers Gifts

"I can watch more 'Law & Order' than any man in this bar."

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Not that net!'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Support Group for a Good Problem

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

Sausages.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Sport Utility Boot.

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Desert Island Mishap

"The new house is almost ready!"

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

Buggy with Snowplow.

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

The Not So Wild West

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."