Westerns Pillows

"You laughing at my mule?"

"That there's one bowlegged cowboy."

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

"It's not difficult - you go 'Hi,' then 'Ho,' then the name of your horse."

'After solving the towns equation, the stranger rode off into the setting sun'

The Old West

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

"We's puttin' together a posse. You in?!"

Cowboy Snowman: 'DRAW!' Two Cowboy Snowmen about to fight it out using their hot air Hairdryers

'To Jake's horror, his trigger finger was otherwise occupied when he was called upon to draw'

Too late, Buck remembered his father's advice: 'Never bring a potato to a gun fight.'

Why you should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Zeke, round up a posse and don't forget ethnic and gender diversity.'

Early Identity Theft

"I'm tired of running Martha."

'Mr landlord, something went wrong... I said 'Give me a home where the Buffalo roam', not 'Give me a room in a Buffalo home''!

'That's the last straw, mister.'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'Well, Bart, normally I'd hold you over for trial and let the judge hang you, but this might be a crowdsourcing situation.'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

'Have you been waiting long?'

'Paw, it's been two days and the varmints haven't even been blinked.'

Clown Cowboy:'DRAW!'

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

"Durn it all, Cooky! We's payin' you good money to remember which one is decaf!"

"If you see something, shoot something."

"I'd like to report some bad guys."

Clint Eastwood,

'Ginger shuddered, the gunslinger's name was Curiosity, and he had a reputation as a cat killer'

'It's a discouraging word from the IRS.'

"O.K., coffee break's over."

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'