Western Movie Critic T-Shirts

'This time you won't shout 'whoa'!'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Billy. The Kid.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Nun Fight.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

Historic Bank Jobs.

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

Opera Singer Looking Out of Place Sitting On The Bar Piano

Draw!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Mama! Aliens.'

"I can't talk louder, I'm a little horse."

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Old West Bounty Hunter.

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.