Western Film Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

'Before we do this, I just want to say something: I really admire your hat... always have.'

'Quit picking at it, you'll make it worse!!'

'I warned you, Chuck - this dog ain't big enough for the both of us - on the nose at high noon, hear?'

"I wear my holster for back relief."

"Don't despair, you still have time to put me on retainer!"

'Weight: 168 pounds. Fortune: Be out of town by sunset.'

'Please tell me that wasn't a discouraging word I heard?'

I'm cleaning up this town, starting with you, Dusty!

'This isn't for real, pass it on.'

'Well, see you later -- don't lurk too hard.'

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

When the law changes hats...

'It's a discouraging word from the IRS.'

"And before you ask, No, we are not cowboys!"

Early Profiling

From The Golden Age Of TV Opera: A Performance Of "Bonanza Ponderoso"

"Hold on, boys! Consumer trying to boost the local economy coming through!"

Cowboys on a Journey Within

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Nun Fight.

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Historic Bank Jobs.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Crossing the Nachos Grande