Wellness Whisperer Pillows

"Basically, the job is hands on training."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

Critisize your weight.

Unguided imagery

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Burnout Syndrome...

"I'm allergic to money. But luckily they've got antihistamines for that."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'What are you eating now?'