Doctor Whisperer Pillows

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"Now all we need is a good script."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

Duplass Brothers

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Computer whisperer.

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

Is this Seat Taken?

WWW.World.com

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

Cellular Plan

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Always stick to the script.