Patient Whisperer Pillows

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Take this like a good boy so I don't have to get male Nurse Bubba!"

"I've asked you repeatedly not to startle me when I'm working!"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

Computer help.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Love your feng shui!"

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

"In all the years I’ve endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother." "It’s almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth." "When’s the last time you called your mother?" "December 2, 1992." "The day before text messaging was introduced." "Ingrate!!!"

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

'I've started an Employee Recognition Program. I know who you are.'