Welding Wizard Pillows

Chicken Engineer

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"We only got six days of funding."

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Targets.

Texturing the Walls

Waiting for retirement.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"Most projects require three hands."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Dad's Workbench

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

'I told you this game had realistic graphics.'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

I got the raise

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"Gnork invented the wheel, Shnorz invented the hand axe, and my genius paints lines and circles. . . what do you want to do with it? Maybe building something where you can look at cat pictures? Hahaha!"

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

Woodpecker carves David out of tree.

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'It's worse than we thought... You've got termites.'