Woodwork Wizard Pillows

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'That inflammation's caused by splinters, Mr, Jenkins, I'd recommend switching to a diet of softer woods - say, pine or cedar,'

"Most projects require three hands."

'...And for the last time, do not eat your project before I've graded it.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Making a birdbath.

Reality home-improvement show.

'How come, whenever one of our relatives passes away, we get a new piece of furniture?'

Carpenter

"My wife should be on the plane by now. She's taking half an inch off the bottom of the kitchen door."

Unfinished furniture store

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

Rocking horse

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Lovely dovetail."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

D.I.Y

Whittling a forget-me-not moose for the one you adore...

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Like father like son.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Luthier

'Still having problems finding day care?'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."