Weight-watchers In Denial Pillows

Overweight Woman Cheating On Scales.

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

'I envy your metabolism.'

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

New Years Reolutions

Dessert Storm Veteran

'How is the new diet going?'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Nothing grows in the shade.'

Instagram!!!

'Doris, I know how much you weigh. Step on the scale and I'll hand you the fish.'

'You are 14st 3lb..But then, you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.'

The hand's gone around twice.

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."