Weight Loss Challenger Pillows

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

To do before Saturday...

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Valleyview diet clinic

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

AI

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

Shrink

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"Ready to head back?"

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

Woman and scales.

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

The real reason salad aids weight loss