Exercise Challenger Pillows

'Go ahead, rub it in!'

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Lawnmower

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Yoga helps me unwind."

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Please seat to be weighted.

Orienteering 101

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

How's My Jiving?

Spring cleaning.

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"Is it possible to achieve inner peace and a charley horse at the same time."