Weight Humor Pillows

Chromatic Scale

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

Check out my six pack.

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

CITY CLINIC: 'I want to see whichever doctor is the fattest.'

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

Naughty Food

'Let's talk about the best way to use nicotine patches.'

"I decided to limit myself to just one Easter egg this year."

'I've worked out, if you lose ten pounds a week, in two months you'll be gone completely.'

'My doc suggested that I eat more veggies. Can you tell me where I can find the steaks - broccoli flavour?'

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

Support group for guys with hemorrhoids.

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

'I'd help you but I'm ergonomically challenged.'

Man with each foot on a set of scales.