Weight Humor Fan Pillows

'I can't hold on much longer! And quite frankly, you're not helping.'

Keep Fit.

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

Hipness Replacement Surgery.

Miss Twaddle, cancel all my appointments.

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

Check out my six pack.

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

My budgie likes Mars bars.

"I missed my last appointment, because I was feeling poorly."

"If these don't make you feel better in a week you can come back here and kick my arse."

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'Sorry, we don't treat stab wounds.'

'You've git song thrush Mrs Ellis.'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"I'm a little concerned about your smoking."

Aquarobics.

'Your wallet's being stolen. It's good you came in when it first started bothering you. We've caught it early.'