Weight Class Strategist Gifts

'Don't worry about the loss. At 143.75, if you gain 3 ounces, we can try for the light junior welter super bantam title.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Bench Press Accident

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Gym. Do you feel the burn? Do rashes count?

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Snail Coach

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

Ring for Service.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'I'll take ten, please.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"Any other strengths?"

'Don't drop that snow globe, they'll close the airport.'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

Genie.

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

'Removal sounds politically incorrect.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."