Weigh-in Wonder Gifts

"See? The good still outweighs the bad."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Secretive Weigh In.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

Dessert Storm Veteran

Weigh station

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

"I guess now would be as good a time as any to talk about balance."

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!', 'Will he have new credit cards?'

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

Instagram!!!

"Just a few pumps more...!"

'The best thing about Ann's Aerobics, is it's location.'

'We feel that as it matures, it will start yielding higher denominations.'

Weight Watchers live off the fat of the land.

"Still fat."

Woman weighs herself on scales, holding helium balloons.

'It took a lot of willpower but I finally gave up dieting.'

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

Shame on You.

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

Time Scales