Wedding Tradition Questioner Pillows

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

This is forever... till death do us part...

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

The wedding cake as Holy Sacrament.

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

Thanksgiving in Antarctica.

Hold it, I think I need something more than "because it's traditional."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

Christmas has officially started too early. Carols.

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

Winery: Employees Must Wash Feet Before Returning to Work.

"And so, by the ventriloquism powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

Bride and groom cellists

Cheese rolling

"I understand they're a rather mature couple?"

Croquembouche.

Sin and Doubt Boxes in Hell.

"Ah, how romantic. They're kissing under my missing toe."

Confetti Recycling.

"So what if Jesus was sent here to suffer and die... We all do that."

"This is what he would have wanted - he was a total neat freak."

On the eighth day God created blasphemy.

"Looks like Father's done a bunk."

"Do you, Thomas, promise to pay attention for the first year and phone it in for the rest of your life?"

Door-to-Door Agnostic

I have not lowered my standards...I've just set more realistic goals...'

In God We Trust...Because We Can't Trust our Politicians.

Hernia clinic: 'You either have to quit getting married, or quit carrying your new bride over the threshold!'