Wedding Tradition Buff Pillows

The wedding cake as Holy Sacrament.

Christmas on Other Planets.

Christmas TV...

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'You have your Boxing Day dip and I'II have mine...'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

'LOL!'

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

'Meet your Uncle Roger, we haven't laid eyes on hide or hair of him since he was best man at our wedding, have we mother?'

the Lesser-known Nogs

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

"Mom does this for everyone's birthday, if you don't applaud, no dessert for a week."

"This will all end in tiers."

'Can I have the bloody bride and groom please?'

'Breaking news, an E.U. directive is moving pancake Tuesday to Thursday...'

'Wait, you mean there's only one Pope at a time? In the whole world!?'

"It's what I was appointed Head Master for - to bring this place kicking and screaming into the nineteenth century."

'Get Offa My Lawn!'

"I understand they're a rather mature couple?"

Croquembouche.

Abdul tried his hand at 'virtual' snake charming.

Computer screen says 'Have you been naughty/nice?' Santa says to elf: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

Royal Wedding History

Confetti Recycling.

Home school's out for summer.

The Annual Chanukah Dilemma

"Look! In Greece, St. Basil fills children's shoes with presents for New Year's Day!"

"Any chance of a tidy-up round the back and sides while you're at it?"

Hernia clinic: 'You either have to quit getting married, or quit carrying your new bride over the threshold!'

'Thank you for not consumating'

'I told you singing 'Don't Be Cruel' wouldn't help.'