Wedding Strategist Pillows

'I haven't said I do yet. How quick can you get down here?'

'I sent out for everything.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

"...until death do you a favor."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"