Marital Strategist Pillows

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

'My wife doesn't actually tell lies, but always manages to rearrange the truth in her favour. . .'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'