Wedding Planner Enthusiast Pillows

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

A bride and her father walk down an aisle decorated with cost of the wedding.

'Can't we call the missing parson's bureau if the vicar doesn't turn up?'

'We still haven't agreed on our wedding plans. I want a big wedding with all the trimmings, and he doesn't want to get married.'

'Your parents haven't accepted me, have they?'

"He just rang to say carry on without him and he'll see us at the reception."

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'He does.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"...until death do you a favor."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Wedding disaster #27.