Wedding Reception Gifts

Wedding speech.

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"I don't know who my audience is."

Wedding. Frank is so bad people can't stop looking. It's dancing with the stares!

Swan dish.

'I propose a toast to the gunsmith...'

Wedding Days.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"Still married?"

Hotel Reception in a Convention Center

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Demure lady with gloves

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Lesbian civil partnership.

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

A heart shaped cake

"You're the lid to my pot."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."