Wedding Planner's Confidante Pillows

"Don't always think the worst, dear. Maybe he's had an accident."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Wedding disaster #27.

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

Prenuptial Wedding Cake

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

'In just six hours you will be simultaneously cured of your fear of snakes, heights, small spaces and commitment.'

A bride and her father walk down an aisle decorated with cost of the wedding.

'You look lovely darling, but it's a bit over the top for a first date. . .'

'She'll have a nasty sugar hangover tomorrow.'

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

"Please put the ring on her finger, Mr Stroodel - I'm sure she'll give you a receipt after the service."

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.

Terri and Glenn devise a way to make those tough final choice on their wedding guest list.

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

'Can you fix a flat ...I'm getting married at three.:

"Brilliant idea of yours,darling-only inviting no-sweet tooths!"

Maybe you could finish flirting with that girl so we can get back to discussing our wedding plans!

The wedding.

'Wait a minute -- aren't you going to read me my rights?'

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

'Mark my words - this will all end in tears!'

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

'Are we breaking up so soon?'

"He just rang to say carry on without him and he'll see us at the reception."

If I ever get married, will you be my best man? I'd be flattered. I'd be flattered too. Huh? HOJ. I look great in a tux. Fine. If I get married, you can be my best man.

'My client does.'

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?