Wedding Photographer Gifts

'And in the event one of you doesn't show up for the ceremony, I can always Photoshop you in later.'

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

Wedding Selfie

'No I don't like your idea for cheap wedding photos!'

"I'm afraid natural light is out of the question."

'Say Cheese!'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'We had to impound it until he pays for his wedding photos."

"My camera froze up during the ceremony, but it wasn't a big problem. So did the groom."

"Thanks to the divorce rate, most of my business is repeat business."

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

"If I'd have known it was going to this hot today I would have covered that indoor wedding."

"Maybe we better get the one-hour developing."

'Well maybe you wouldn't have attracted the attention of the Time Police, Joe, if you hadn't spent the last fifteen years of your life deliberately Capturing Precious Moments...'

"You've got a beautiful set-up. Too bad you didn't leave room for the bride and groom."

"Hold it! I'm out of film!"

"Bill Murray photobombs a wedding, and everyone laughs."

Body Shamed Bride

"Hey, they're shooting their wedding photos on the beach! Let's go and photobomb them to make them even more special..."

'Can I have the bloody bride and groom please?'

Photographers Then and Now.

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

They said it would never last. Even the photographer used a disposable camera.

'Not quite the action shot we were going for!'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

Wedding selfie stick

"Bad news...I took all of your wedding pictures on one of those snap apps that erases them after ten seconds."

"...In sickness and in health, till... Well, let's not set a time limit, okay?"

"Look, I haven't got all day....are you going to smile or not?"

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'