Wedding Joke Lovers Pillows

Sermon: married life from Niagara to Viagra.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Just married.

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

When Female Leopards Marry.

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

Trouble Ahead

"And do you also promise to be LinkedIn for life, facebook friends forever and to stay off Tinder till you're burnt to a cinder?"

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

'Yes he WILL do all that - I'll see to it!'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"I knew they had shot gun weddings in the wild west, but not in Milton Keynes!"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"