Wedding Joke Enthusiast Pillows

"Do you, Thomas, promise to pay attention for the first year and phone it in for the rest of your life?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'You may now kick the bride.'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

"I figured you'd end up looking like that."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"To begin with, he ate most of the wedding cake..."

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

When Female Leopards Marry.

Just married.

Trouble Ahead

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

"I now pronounce you guilty."

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"