Wedding Dress Specialist Gifts

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"It doesn't scream 'Girlie Lawyer'?"

'I will be a chaperone at the senior prom. I need a prom dress but I don't want to be mistaken for a student.'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

'Pillow too soft?'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

Bridal, Tuxedo and Speedy Annulment.

'We've got to think about our lending policy for small businesses... Like my tailor!'

I love coloured tights

"I'm convinced...we've both been married one too many times!"

"Pssst! Interested in women's clothes with actual real pockets?"

"It IS a 'designer' dress, it's just that the designer was a bit rubbish!"

'Did your helmet just peep at my helmet?'

"Does my overdraft look big in this?"

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

Puppetry of the Penis

'Hemlines will remain the same this year, but legs will be shorter.'

The real flower-show

Wedding nose ring

Mr and Mr Halloween Pumpkin

"It's hideous. Be sure to price it high enough that someone buys it."

'How did you guess? Of course it's rented!'

'Tell the new young fella it's cute.. then send him home to change into a suit and tie.'

Home & Garden. I need a new doormat. The old one is in tatters. You wore out your "welcome."

"Your tags are sticking out."

"I was told I could bring my wardrobe consultant."

'Watch your fingers.'